Women marching across my memory

I’ve mentioned before that my dad had seven sisters. On International Women’s Day, they march across my memory: Maddie, Kay, Martha, Helen, Millie, Lou, and Madge.

Helen, Maddie, Martha, Millie, Kay, Madge, Lou on the day they buried their mother in October 1954

Helen, Maddie, Martha, Millie, Kay, Madge, Lou on the day they buried their mother in October 1954

To my knowledge, none of my aunts ever marched in support of women’s rights, and none called herself a feminist. Yet each in her singular way was a powerful force and a role model for her daughters and nieces. Collectively, they taught me to be resourceful, independent, outspoken, playful, hospitable, inventive, industrious, resilient, practical, generous, inquisitive, strategic, frugal, discerning, caring, and strong.

MaddieMaddie was the oldest, and I knew her best. In 1951, she was one of five women in a class of 107 students and one of only three who in 1956 completed UBC’s new CGA degree program. She was intelligent, endlessly curious, and owned tall shelves full of books. She designed and sewed her own clothes, even tailored suits. A spinster by choice, she lived in a chic apartment in Vancouver’s West End, overlooking English Bay. Spending occasional weekends with her there was a highlight of my teenage years.

Kay

Growing up, Kay worked on the farm with the men, and although she chose a career that was strictly for women in the 1950s—nursing—she worked hard to advance to supervisory positions and eventually became a nursing instructor at BCIT. When she retired in 1978, the nursing department head acknowledged that Kay (Hankinson) had “made a major contribution toward the success of the BCIT nursing program and, in fact, to nursing education in British Columbia.”

Martha

Martha (Sundberg) raised two children and was a passionate, dedicated schoolteacher. She taught in challenging situations in northern Saskatchewan and Alberta, often in one-room schools with grades 1 through 12, including her own two kids. She took a real interest in her students and stayed in touch with many of them. Like her sisters, being raised in the Depression made her frugal and resourceful. She saved and repurposed everything, and wasted nothing.

Helen

Helen worked as a fitter for Boeing during WWII and then trained as a psychiatric nurse. Like most of her sisters, she could cook, knit, and sew like a professional, and there was nothing she wouldn’t try her hand at—and then do it well. She maintained high standards for household chores and sorted the garden peas by size before blanching and freezing them. She ironed everything. Helen and her husband, Sonny Tomlenovich, raised six kids on a farm in central Saskatchewan, not far from the one where she grew up.

Millie

Having entered the convent at 15 and then deciding that a nun’s life wasn’t what she wanted after all, Millie married and, with her husband, Lyle Armstrong, raised three sons. She was the matriarch of our family after my grandmother died. She kept track of everyone and kept in touch with everyone, and it wasn’t the least bit unusual for her to invite 60 people to her small house for dinner. A professional seamstress, she was a supervisor in a clothing factory in Saskatoon. She was the quintessential Type A personality. She rarely sat still. Like her sisters, Millie had a strong work ethic, superlative organizational skills, and a talent for making something from nothing. Like her sisters, she liked to have fun, and she made life fun for others.

Lou

Lou was closest in age to my dad, and the two of them were close friends throughout their lives. When my grandparents retired from farming in the 1940s and moved to the coast, Dad and Lou moved with them. They graduated together from Richmond High School in 1948. Lou went on to normal school and taught for several years before she married John Goodwin and raised four kids on the Sunshine Coast. She almost always worked outside the home as well as in it. Her family was the focus of her life. Lou always looked for the best in people, and made an effort to find out how they saw the world. Like her sisters, she had a wonderful sense of humour and was highly creative.

Madge

Madge was the youngest of ten, and in many ways had a different start to life than her older siblings. More of her childhood was spent in Richmond than on the farm in Saskatchewan, and her oldest siblings were busy with their own lives by the time she came along. Madge returned to Saskatchewan after her mother died and went to work as a teller at the Bank of Montreal in Saskatoon. She was BMO’s first female branch manager in Saskatchewan, a pioneer in a male-dominated industry who paved the way for other women. With her husband, John Sulz, she raised three kids, and even as a “career mom” she was phenomenal at gardening, cooking, canning, and sewing.

My aunts may not have called themselves feminists, but each of them, in their own way, lived boldly and courageously, with spark, and with strength. Each added texture, depth, and breadth to what it meant to be a woman in her time.

I loved them. I admired them. And today I honour them.

 

5 Responses to “Women marching across my memory”

  1. carin

    A beautiful tribute, Leslie. What remarkable women. Lucky you. What a treasure you have in these memories. Whether 60 for dinner or the first female branch manager or teachers, mothers, matriarchs, farmers, tailors… I love stories like this (still grieving over SWCC’s end to their brilliant HerStory calendars). Let’s not stop talking about the women who have been so instrumental in our lives, in sometimes (often) the most subtle ways.

    Reply
    • commatologist commatologist

      Thanks, Carin. I was so lucky to have these amazing women in my life and in my family. They are very much part of who I am. On a side note, your comment sent me wandering off to the Herstory Calendar blog, where I found an entry about Lucille Johnstone. The entry says that Lucille was one of only two women who completed the inaugural CGA program through UBC, which makes me sad, because three women actually completed it – Lucille Johnstone, Joyce Loutet, and Madeleine Prpich – but Madeleine didn’t graduate with her class because she was hospitalized for a mental breakdown – a hospitalization that changed the course of her life irrevocably, and in my opinion, stole her life. Lucille, Joyce and Maddie were great friends for many years.

      Reply
      • carin

        I was so sad when they stopped producing that calendar. So many wonderful stories told, and yet to be told. Madeleine’s included. And their ‘formal’ accomplishments are almost secondary to the influence/effect such women had on so many lives. I didn’t have the benefit of what you describe so I tend to lean towards stories like these. Doesn’t matter to me that I don’t know the women personally. It’s all so nourishing. Mentors in many forms…

        Reply
  2. Carol Rowan

    Thank-you Leslie. Your writing is inspiring and prompt me to consider doing something to honour my aunts! Lovely!

    Reply
    • commatologist commatologist

      Thank you, Carol. I’d love to read about your aunts – and your amazing mom!

      Reply

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